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You are here: Home1 / Retinoblastoma Resource2 / Family and Friends
A child life specialist uses a toy cat with removable eye to help a young girl receiving chemotherapy cope with eye removal and artificial eyes.

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Family and Friends

Friends and relatives can help ease the trauma of retinoblastoma with loving words and actions.

Well-placed words of comfort and encouragement, practical help and a quiet, supportive presence can lessen the daily challenges of fighting childhood eye cancer.

The diagnosis is like an earthquake. Shockwaves rip through extended family, friends and the wider community.

A baby opening Christmas presents has a white glow in her eye.

Families experience wide-ranging responses to their child’s cancer, from dedicated support to conflict and desertion.

Sometimes family and friends are not able to help in practical ways, even though they care. Events and commitments in your own life may be too great, or you may struggle to cope with the illness. Most often, people who care deeply feel unable to help simply because they do not know what to say, or fail to understand what is helpful.

In this section, you will find suggestions of how you can help, from practical, emotional and financial support to giving helpful gifts and finding the right words (and avoiding harmful ones).

Experiences, thoughts and suggestions are shared by families who have faced retinoblastoma. We hope they will guide you along the journey as caring supporters of an affected family.


Practical Support

“Let me know if I can do anything to help” often puts unintended stress on the family. Be proactive. Ask what needs doing or offer to do something specific, then do it.


Emotional Support

Now more than ever, the parents, affected child and siblings need unconditional friendship. There are many different ways you can support and encourage them.


Financial Support

Supporting a financially overwhelmed family may help avoid a money meltdown. Many parents appreciate this gift dearly.


Giving Gifts

Giving gifts helps us feel that we are making things better. Think creatively, and consider the true value of your gift in the context of fighting the child’s cancer.


Support from Young Friends

Children develop social skills by interacting with peers, so maintaining friendships is particularly important for the child with cancer.


Words That Help

The richest language can seem totally inadequate in times of great personal trial. However, some of the simplest words can bring great strength and encouragement.


Words That Harm

Stress and fatigue heighten sensitivity, and well meant words can sometimes be very hurtful to the family of a chil­d with cancer.


Help During the Holidays

Real holiday season spirit is found by sharing hope, peace and friendship.  Read a mother’s memory, and tips to support families through the holidays.

Give life and sight to a child with eye cancer today

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  • Retinoblastoma Overview
    • How the Eye Works
    • Retinoblastoma Biology
    • Unilateral Retinoblastoma
    • Bilateral Retinoblastoma
    • Extraocular Retinoblastoma
    • Trilateral Retinoblastoma
    • Genetics of Retinoblastoma
    • Global Incidence
    • Signs and Symptoms
    • Referral and Diagnosis
    • Treatments
    • Care After Treatment
    • Prognosis
    • Retinoblastoma Glossary
  • Know the Glow
    • Fundal (Red Eye) Reflex and Red-Eye Reduction
    • White Eye Reflex
    • Photo Challenge
    • White Eye and Rb
    • White Eye after Rb Diagnosis
    • White Eye and Adults
    • PhotoRED Technique
    • Next Steps
    • Examining the Fundal / Red Reflex
  • Medical Care
    • Questions to Ask the Medical Team and Yourself
    • Diagnosis and Staging
      • Staging Systems
      • Multidisciplinary Team and Tumour Board
      • Treatment Plan and Care Pathway
      • Hospital Packing Tips
    • Retinoblastoma Genetics
      • Rb Genetics Explained
      • Mosaic Mutations
      • MYCNA Retinoblastoma
      • Genetic Counseling
      • Genetic Testing
      • Genetic Test Results
      • Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD)
      • Genetics Glossary
    • A Therapeutic Alliance
      • Your Child’s Doctors
      • Good Communication
      • Resolving Conflict
      • Second Opinions
      • Changing Doctors
      • Medical Staff
    • Medical Procedures
      • Informed Consent
      • Procedure Pain
      • Blood Draw
      • Bone Marrow Aspiration
      • Bone Scan
      • Chest X-ray
      • CT Scan
      • Echocardiogram
      • EUA
      • Eye Pressure Test
      • General Anaesthetic
      • Hearing Tests
      • Inserting an IV
      • Intrathecal Injection
      • Lumbar Puncture
      • MRI Scan
      • Radionuclide GFR
      • Subcutaneous Injection
      • Taking a Temperature
      • Transfusion
      • Ultrasound of the Eye
      • Vision Testing
      • Vision Testing – Support Your Child
      • Vision Testing – Just For Kids!
    • Treatment
      • Risk of Under-Treatment and Over-Treatment
        • Reduce Risk of Under-Treatment and Over-Treatment
      • Treatment Decision Making Guide
        • Step 1 – Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Feelings
        • Step 2 – Understand Your Decision-Making Style
        • Step 3 – Find Your Expert Team
        • Step 4 – Understand Shared Decision Making and Informed Consent
        • Step 5 – Set an Intention to Make Balanced Decisions
        • Step 6 – Learn About Retinoblastoma
        • Step 7 – Evaluate Your Options
        • Step 8 – Consider Your Values and Goals
        • Step 9 – Manage Disagreement and Conflict
        • Step 10 – Make Your Decision
        • Step 11 – Review Your Decision
        • Step 12 – Support Your Child and Yourself
        • Review the 12 Decision Making Steps
      • Enucleation
        • Making the Decision
        • Eye Removal Surgery
        • Orbital Implants
        • Types of Orbital Implant
        • Side Effects
        • Pathology
        • After Surgery
        • Coping with Other People
        • Artificial Eyes
        • Artificial Eye Care
      • Focal Therapy
        • Laser
        • Cryotherapy
        • Periocular Chemotherapy
        • Intravitreal Chemotherapy
      • Chemotherapy
        • Chemotherapy for Rb
        • Intra-Arterial Chemotherapy
        • Regimens and Protocols
        • During Treatment
        • Central Venous Catheter
        • CVC Care and Risks
        • Blood Test Results
        • When to Call the Doctor
      • Radiation Therapy
        • Radioactive Plaque
        • Coping With Isolation
        • Radiotherapy
        • Radiotherapy Planning
        • Treatment Process
        • EBRT Side Effects
        • Ask the Doctor
      • Transplant
        • Types of Transplant
        • Transplant Process
        • Coping With Transplant
        • Complications
        • Long-term side effects
        • Ask the Doctor
      • Side Effects
        • Low Blood Counts
        • Pneumonia and Chickenpox
        • Protect Your Neutropaenic Child
        • Pets and Infection Risk
        • Fatigue
        • Pain
        • Hair Loss
        • Nausea and Vomiting
        • Taste Changes
        • Oral Care
        • Skin and Nails
        • Diarrhoea
        • Constipation
        • Bed Wetting
        • When to Call the Doctor
      • Occlusion Therapy (Eye Patching)
        • Introduction to Eye Patching
        • Preparing to Patch
        • Support Your Patching Child
        • Eye Patching – Just For Kids!
    • Clinical Research
      • Clinical Research Introduction
      • Clinical Research Phases
      • Protocol Document
      • Monitoring and Safety
      • Rb Clinical Research
      • Informed Consent
      • Ask the Investigator
      • Ethnography Research
      • Patient-Led Research – A New Approach
      • Patient-Led Research – Challenges and Development
    • Surviving Hospital
      • Advocate for Your Child
      • Packing for Hospital
      • Hospital Life
      • Your Child’s Space
      • Record Keeping
      • Recreation
    • International Care
      • Contacting Doctors
      • Finances and Fundraising
      • Travel and Housing
      • Questions to Ask
    • End of Treatment
      • Celebration
      • Follow Up Care
      • Follow Up Schedule
      • Life-Long Follow Up
      • Removing the Central Line
      • A New Normal
      • Relapse
      • Second Primary Cancers
      • Symptoms of Second Primary Cancers
      • Ask the Doctors
    • End of Life Care
      • Changing Treatment Goals
      • Palliative Care
  • Child Life
    • Child Life is More Than Play
      • The Art of Child Life
    • Procedure Support
      • Stay Calm
      • Make a Plan
      • Medical Play
      • Distraction Play
      • Comfort Positions
      • Giving Eye Drops
      • Support for Needle Procedures
      • Anaesthetic Induction
      • Preparing for Surgery
      • Preparing for Enucleation
      • Imaging Scans
      • HandWashing for Kids
      • Reduce Face Touching
    • Pain Management
      • Know the Signs of Pain
      • Manage Pain
      • Mind-Body Strategies
    • Living With a Special Eye
      • Before Enucleation
      • Going to the Ocularist
      • Making an Artificial Eye
      • Handling the Special Eye
      • Keeping the Eye in Place
      • The Young Child Living With a Special Eye
      • The Older Child Living With a Special Eye
      • When There Is No Eye
    • Psychological Support
      • Reduce Your Stress
      • Infant Massage Training
      • Talking With Kids About Vision Loss
      • Talking About Vision Loss – For Kids!
      • Support and Encourage
      • Coping With Difference
      • Worry Eaters Guide
      • Personal Story Books
      • Youth Retinoblastoma Support at Upopolis
      • Camp Sunshine Rb Week
      • Activities for Isolating With Children
      • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Childhood Cancer
  • Living With Retinoblastoma
    • Children
      • Children Learn From You
      • Sibling Responses
      • Support Siblings
      • Communicate
      • Reduce Stress
      • Tantrums
      • Discipline
    • Parents
      • Emotional Responses
      • Manage Anger
      • Depression and PTSD
      • Look After Yourself
      • Relationships
      • Sharing the News
      • Update People
      • Seek and Accept Help
    • Grandparents
      • Genetic Implications
      • How You Can Help
      • Look After Yourself
    • School Life
      • Effects of Treatment
      • Preparing For School
      • School Activities
      • Artificial Eye Care
      • Infection Control
      • Older Children
      • Advice for Teachers
    • Eye Care
      • Prevent Eye Injury
      • First Aid for the Eyes
      • Nutrition for the Eyes
    • Bereavement
      • End Of Life Care
      • Before the Funeral
      • Acts of Remembrance
      • Parental Grief
      • Sibling Grief
      • Carrying the Torch
    • Focus on Hope
      • False Hope
      • Encourage Hope
      • The First Alphabet of Hope
      • Alphabet of Hope 2018
      • Alphabet of Hope 2019 – #LifeBeyondRb
      • Alphabet of Hope 2020 – #FamilyInSight
      • Alphabet of Hope 2021 – #MindAndBody
      • Alphabet of Hope 2022 – #RbCare
      • Alphabet of Hope 2023 – #RbResearch
      • Alphabet of Hope 2024 – #RbEarlyDiagnosis
      • Alphabet of Hope 2025-2026 – #RbChildLife
  • Family and Friends
    • Practical Support
    • Emotional Support
    • Financial Support
    • Giving Gifts
    • Help From Young Friends
    • Words That Help
    • Words That Harm
    • Help During the Holidays
  • Through Our Eyes
    • RAE of Hope
    • Unilateral Rb
      • John (Kenya)
      • Rati (Botswana)
      • Connor (Canada)
      • Ewan (England)
      • Rowan (USA)
      • Bisrat S (Ethiopia)
      • Alexa (Ireland)
      • Linda (Kenya)
      • Lele (China)
      • Katelyn (USA)
      • Jordan (USA)
      • Danielle (Canada)
      • Bright (Cameroon)
    • Bilateral Rb
      • Daisy (UK)
      • Aidan (Canada)
      • Libby and Ella (USA)
      • Angie, Kieran and Cameron (UK)
      • Bisrat E (Ethiopia)
      • Abby (USA)
      • Brady (USA)
      • Sera (Fiji)
      • Katy and Harry (UK)
      • Hope (South Africa)
      • Ross Richard (USA)
      • Bella (Philippines)
      • Peter (Kenya)
      • Jaymee (Australia)
      • Ella Nina (Burundi)
      • Ernest (Kenya)
    • Extraocular Rb
      • Rati (Botswana)
      • Ross Richard (USA)
      • Bella (Philippines)
      • Sera (Fiji)
      • Ella Nina (Burundi)
      • Ernest (Kenya)
      • Bright (Cameroon)
    • Trilateral Rb
      • Libby and Ella (USA)
  • Other Organizations
    • Rb Communities on Social Media
    • Retinoblastoma Organizations
    • Childhood Cancer
    • General Cancer Support
    • Emotional Support
    • Financial Support
    • Transport Providers
    • Hospital Housing
    • Support for Children
    • Support for Siblings
    • Support for Survivors
    • Cancer Camps
    • Wish Granting
    • Disability Support
    • Bereavement Support
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